On Resilience, Toxic Positivity, and Making 1-1s More Valuable

Hey there! Here’s the content from the August 2021 newsletter. Phew! What a month that was, with a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

As well as another cameo appearance as a Grade 3 & 4 teacher, I was busy with a few different client projects on challenging conversations, growth & development conversations, and using the Radical Candor philosophy to create a stronger feedback culture.

Here’s the content I found interesting along the way - enjoy! And be sure to sign up for the newsletter if you enjoy this kind of content :-)

Are your leaders inadvertently creating a "toxic positivity" culture?

Published around a month ago, this article highlights some potential ways in which leaders can inadvertently reinforce a culture of false 'positivity' through seemingly harmless responses and behaviours. It includes a discussion of when and why this can become problematic, and the potential flow-on effects for psychological safety and well-being.

As a psychologist, a few key points particularly resonated for me, especially those relating to the value of developing what is often referred to as "emotional literacy". Addressing the perception that emotions are inherently 'good' or 'bad' is also something I wholeheartedly agree with. Finally, I also found myself nodding in response to the suggestion that leaders demonstrate some vulnerability by being (appropriately) authentic about their own experiences, and that "a significant part of combating toxic positivity is creating psychologically safe spaces".

You can read the HRM article via this link.

Are you adapting your leadership style as your team grows?

This article seems to capture a few key themes emerging in recent conversations with my coaching clients. It explores the contrast between managing small and large teams, emphasising some of the shifts required to make this transition. Not surprisingly, the article highlights the need for leaders to carefully manage their time, making deliberate decisions on where to focus their energy and attention.

The critical importance of building others' capability is also explored, especially given the potential 'multiplying' effect of doing so. For me, another key point relates to the importance of explicitly seeking to create and maintain psychological safety - as they move up the ranks, leaders need to be much more aware of their impact on others. Indeed, I've found that many individuals don't anticipate the extent to which simply being in a more senior position can influence others' willingness to openly share ideas and concerns (even when these leaders aren't doing anything different!).

A final conclusion is that people-centric skills tend to matter most. You can read the article here via the HBR website.

Are you ready for the "great disruption" caused by hybrid work?

This Microsoft report shares some interesting insights on various 'people' trends that appear to be emerging across organisations (gathered via an analysis of over 650,000 survey responses from 30,000 employees).

A staggering result is that 41% of those surveyed are contemplating leaving their current employer by the end of the year - wow! The report also makes the controversial suggestion that many leaders are out of touch with the employee experience and need a "wake up call" - while they appear to be doing well, many of their employees are experiencing something very different.

To me, many of the themes suggest some potential 'red flags' in terms of leaders and organisations successfully leveraging and retaining talent. On the positive side, a benefit emerging from the shift to hybrid / remote work is the widening of the talent marketplace, allowing savvy organisations to acquire skills and capabilities that may have previously been difficult to find. Another positive theme relates to workplaces becoming more 'human'.

You can read the report here - scroll to the bottom to access the full report. Or alternatively, take a look at the key themes via this visual summary.

How can you make your one-on-ones more valuable?

Again, the Coaching for Leaders podcast delivers the goods with this great interview between Dave Stachowiak and Jonathan Raymond.

It's an insightful discussion about elevating conversations with team members through asking great questions and "listening with your leadership ears". While listening I got a bit excited about how relevant this conversation will be for some leaders mid-way through a career and development conversations program I'm currently delivering, meaning this one will definitely go into their extra resource pack!

The part I particularly liked was about helping employees to make connections between their day-to-day activities, the broader purpose of their role, and their personal growth opportunities.

You can find the interview here via the Coaching for Leaders website, or here on Spotify or Apple podcasts.

What helps resilient people be more resilient?

I came across this TED talk last year at about the point that those of us in Melbourne had been in strict lockdown for around 80-90 days. I found it really interesting to consider in light of what was (and wasn't) within our control given the circumstances, and the ways of thinking and behaving that were most likely to help or harm our well-being. Watch the TED talk to hear resilience researcher Lucy Hone talk about 3 evidence-based strategies for handling challenges and adversity, and her own experience of using these when faced with a personal loss.

While not necessarily 'easy', each suggestion involves a set of skills and behaviours that we can actively and independently work on when navigating tricky times. You'll also hear about our brain's tendency to focus on the negative stuff, and why this makes 'leaning in' to these strategies even more important.

What level of listening do you typically demonstrate?

Listening has come up as a theme in many of my recent workshops and coaching sessions, with many indicating their desire to strengthen this skill. I've always felt that listening is one of those 'simple' but 'hard' skills - we all know it's important and can make a huge difference, but it can be difficult to consistently demonstrate. This month I'm sharing a simple diagram that individuals can use to reflect on the 'level' of listening they might be demonstrating in different situations. Are you truly listening - or just waiting to jump in and hijack the conversation? You can download the simple one-pager here.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share with anyone who might find these insights helpful, or want to sign up and join the community.